Time for the official post-mortem of what happened as far as the server crash goes. The official cause of the crash shall be listed as a failing power supply unit.
About a month ago the power supply for the server went completely dead. In order to get the server back up and running as quickly as possible I swapped in a spare unit I had from an older computer. It did the job beautifully. Seeing as how everything appeared to be working fine and there were no substantial problems I didn't replace it with a new unit.
About 4 days before I left for my trip back home the server shut itself down. When I booted it back up I had some problems with the MYSQL server and so chalked the problem up to that. Then I left and went away. We all know what happened next. When I got back to the server I found that it was in the same disabled state as the first crash. I got it back up and decided to watch and see what it would do. A day later the same thing happened.
So I ran some tests on the power supply and it was providing irregular power on the 12v rail, my guess is that was probably leading to a temperature triggered shutdown. Anyway, regardless, 2 days ago I purchased a high-end power supply unit and swapped it in. Everything seems to be running fine now.
Thanks to the donations everyone at RW gave or have promised to give, I have gone ahead and upgraded some of the networking hardware that was worrying me as well. I am also working on getting some hardware to allow for remote management of the server even if it is unresponsive, as well as server resets automatically if it becomes unresponsive.
So the whole thing is my fault for not swapping in a new power unit after the old one failed and instead relying on a spare one. Feel free to block me for some pi unit of time for my failing.
As a final note, if this is truly an act of God as more than one person posited, it is pretty convoluted and weak. A swarm of locust munching on my power cords would have been far more effective in both maintaining downtime and for the general "shock and awe" of it all.
And a few RationalWiki prods for the road:
No true Scotsman