Okay, so now that our magic new backup system appears to be working, I can actually do what I meant to do yesterday. So the site is down because I am replacing hardware.
Obligatory Google prod of the day:
Denyse O'Leary in honor of the first person to openly admit to considering a defamation lawsuit against us.
Esther Hicks just because.
UPDATE: It looks like everything went exactly as planned, smooth upgrade, site back online. I will continue to monitor the situation to make sure nothing weird happens.